Yami No Karaoke
by Mishiko Shinsei
Summary: One shot. A night of 'fun' and song. Just own the words, not the folks.


'There she is _again_,' Tsuzuki pouts.

Tonight's karaoke bar run should have been more fun, but it's grating his nerves instead. Every time he steps away from Hisoka for more than 30 seconds, that girl starts hitting on him. And she was persistent! Hours ago Tsuzuki had politely let her know he and Hisoka were together, but that didn't seem to deter her. She'd continued to flirt, even when Hisoka brushed her off rather brusquely.

Determined not to turn into 'screaming, jealous boyfriend', Tsuzuki opts to calm himself before approaching her again, utilizing a half bottle of sake to accomplish this task.

"What's your name," he queries evenly, stepping beside her. She'd been leaning on the bar talking quietly to Hisoka, who looks ready to knock her into orbit.

"Marilyn," she coos, eying him suggestively.

"Nice to meet you, Marilyn. I'm Tsuzuki and this is, as you know, my boyfriend, Hisoka."

Hisoka shoots him a glare and a tight thought.

Baka! Don't tell her my name! 

"Nice to meet you too, Tsuzuki…Hisoka." Purposefully, she draws out Hisoka's name, leering at him. It's all Tsuzuki can do not to throttle her. He's obviously still too sober to deal with her.

"Hey," Tsuzuki calls to the bartender. Catching his eye, he shakes the empty sake bottle at him. "Another one of these, please," he requests.

"Sure thing," the bartender replies, trading a full bottle for the empty one.

Hisoka's eyes widen in shock and Marilyn's in amazement as Tsuzuki downs half of the bottle.

Feeling less murderous, he plops the bottle on the bar next to Hisoka and takes Marilyn's hand.

"Can I talk to you over her for a moment," he asks her, still sounding quite sober.

She smirks at him, misinterpreting the gesture.

"Sure."

Linking her fingers in his, he leads her to a secluded corner, pressing her back into the wall.

"You know," he begins, a slight slur beginning to take over his voice, "you're really quite beautiful."

She smiles.

"Thank you."

He leans closer to her.

"And I'm sure you could get any man you wanted."

"Mmm Hmm."

Closer still. His breath is warm against her ear.

"So, why don't you leave my Hisoka alone?"

"Because he's so cute," she whispers, sensuously, casually sliding a hand down his chest. "So are you."

"I'm asking you nicely," he whispers. "Leave him alone."

"I won't. He'll be mine before the night is through. He's already let me kiss him."

Tsuzuki pulls back, capturing her eyes.

"You're lying," he squints. "Hisoka would never do that. He has no interest in women. And especially not you."

That smirk again.

"Whatever. I just know that I caught him just around that corner", she points behind Tsuzuki, "and planted a wet one on his lips. He blushed," she giggles, "but didn't pull away. Then he glared at me. He's so cute!"

Tsuzuki was fuming. This harlot was seriously after his Hisoka! And why hadn't Hisoka knocked her away? _If _that story is even true.

"Just stay away from him," he growls, the anger having taken the edge off of his buzz, brining him closer to sober.

"Or what," she teases.

Placing a shaking hand on her neck, he surprises himself by squeezing lightly.

"Or you won't like my reaction."

Stepping back, he is dismayed to find her taunting smirk still in place. Turning swiftly, he storms off back to the bar, confiscating the half full bottle of sake and heading over to Watari and Tatsumi at their booth near the stage.

"Where's Hisoka," Watari inquires innocently as Tsuzuki flops down.

Glancing up to indicate his partner's location, he sees Marilyn sidled up to Hisoka **again**! Looking away without replying, he takes a long swig from the bottle of sake. Tatsumi takes it from his hands with a frown.

"Tsuzuki, what's wrong," he prods.

Sighing deeply, he turns away.

"She's trying to steal Hisoka from me. And he doesn't seem to mind," he slurs, the intake of sake finally overpowering him.

Both Watari and Tatsumi look over to where they'd left Hisoka at the bar. Both are shocked to see the stunning redhead nearly draped all over Hisoka and him casually sitting on the barstool.

Watari closes his shocked mouth quickly. Tatsumi knits his brows angrily. Neither knows what to tell Tsuzuki.

After a few moments, Tatsumi decides 'enough is enough' and stands abruptly.

"Where are you going," Watari inquires as Tsuzuki thumbs listlessly through the book of karaoke songs.

"To put an end to this," Tatsumi forces.

"No," Tsuzuki exclaims, restraining him. "No. I-I'll take care of it somehow. You can't fight all my battles for me, Tatsumi."

Tatsumi sighs lightly, reclaiming his seat next to Watatri.

"I hardly fight all of your battles, Tsuzuki," he drolls.

"I know. I just…I'll deal with it later."

An awkward silence settles on the booth occupants as others partake of the karaoke in front of them.

Emptying the bottle of sake and calling for another, Tsuzuki continues to pour over the karaoke books' contents, using the flow of lyrics to distract himself from his misery over the current situation.

'I have to do something,' he sighs to himself, wallowing in his tipsy state after knocking back another half bottle of sake. He'd gone to the bathroom a few minutes ago and seen Marilyn now leaning into Hisoka. He still held his trademark scowl and his face was still turned away from her, but his arm now loosely draped around her waist. Scrambling back to the booth, Tsuzuki downed a third of the fresh bottle of sake, worrying Watari and especially Tatsumi even more.

'I'll deal with it later,' he resigns continuing to flip the pages.

"Or not," he whispers, having come across a piece that he expects will convey exactly what he wants.

Standing quickly, he writes his name down in the next free slot on the karaoke list. A broad, sinister smile crosses his face.

"Tsuzuki," Tatsumi begins with concern," are you all right?"

"I will be," he grins evilly.

The smile stays plastered on his face until his turn 20 minutes later.

Stepping up to the mike and keying in the song code, he readies himself.

"This is for Marilyn and Hisoka," he announces to the crowd. Shock lands on Hisoka's face while Watari and Tatsumi start in surprise.

The music starts and Tsuzuki begins in a pleasant croon.

_You've come to tell me something you say I ought to know:  
That he don't love me any more, and I'll have to let him go.  
You say you're gonna take him, oh, but I don't think you can,  
'Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man._

At the first chorus, he allows himself a smile.

_Women like you, they're a dime a dozen.  
You can buy them anywhere.  
For you to have him, I'd have to move over,  
And I'm gonna stand right here.  
It'll be over my dead body, so get out while you can.  
'Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man._

For the second verse, he stares right at Hisoka whose eyes get impossibly huge as he sings.

_Sometimes a man's caught looking at things that he don't need.  
He took a second look at you, but he's in love with me.  
Well, I don't know where that leaves you, ah but I know where I stand,  
And you ain't woman enough to take my man._

_Women like you, they're a dime a dozen.  
You can buy them anywhere.  
For you to have him, I'd have to move over,  
And I'm gonna stand right here.  
It'll be over my dead body, so get out while you can.  
'Cause you ain't woman enough to take my man._

_No, you ain't woman enough to take my man._

By the end of the song, Tatsumi is mortified, Watari is laughing heartily and Hisoka is turning new shades of red.

Jumping from the stage to the sound of thunderous applause, less for his singing and more for his actions, Tsuzuki grins broadly.

The grin turns predatory as he advances on Hisoka. Ignoring Marilyn's attempted proprietary hand on his knee, Tsuzuki takes Hisoka's face in his hands and kisses him passionately. Their tongues duel for many minutes, Hisoka sliding his arms around Tsuzuki's neck and slipping his fingers into the longish, chocolate tresses.

Pulling away slowly, oblivious to the hoots and howls around them, Tsuzuki sends:

Let's go home. 

Yes. Hisoka replies.

Clasping his hand tightly, Tsuzuki escorts Hisoka past a seething Marilyn.

_A/N: The song is: "You Ain't Woman Enough" by country legend Loretta Lynn._


End file.
